The niyamas series - Santosha
The second niyama, santosha, invites us to find contentment. This is something I struggle with as I’ve written about before.
In the West, success tends to be measured by what we achieve and what we have. Many of us have families where successive generations have worked hard to give their children more than they had growing up. But where does that leave us? Are we always striving for something more without stopping to consider what we already have?
Right now, I find myself in a position of waiting for the paperwork to go through to move house. It’s a holding pattern I’ve been in and out of for over a year and it’s not been a good feeling. By waiting to move and looking to the future, I’ve found myself more dissatisfied with my present - of course lockdown hasn’t helped with that.
How often do we maybe seem disappointed and make things worse because we’re discontent when actually the situation is perfectly fine and acceptable? What is it we are striving for? Is it the expectation rather than the situation, which isn’t working for us?
So as I’m preparing to move, I’m beginning to think about what works for me right now, what are the good things in my life in this flat I want to keep after I move. I need to consider the desire to move - am I grasping for something that won’t materialise, or seeking something I’m missing? This is my struggle as I’m sure it is for many people.
I need to remind myself that contentment is not the same as complacency, it’s acceptance. It’s not putting up with things, but by letting go of worry and the internal monologue of “this is never going to work out” or “this won’t change” and being ok in the present, we can give ourselves the time and brain space to then appreciate what we have - practising gratitude and trusting that life will bring what it will bring.
It’s been pointed out to me that when I’m asked how I’m doing or how the move is going I reply “I’m getting there”. That’s not living in the present, it’s an expectation of something other. And it’s so easy to fall into that trap of striving or seeking rather than being.
Take time to appreciate what you have, celebrate the achievement of others with joy rather than comparing yourself or feel like you’re missing out. Find gratitude for the everyday. That’s not to say that we shouldn’t be seeking a level of comfort, or looking to make things better for other people. The trick is not to let go of the joy in the present.
More information
Deborah Adele (2009), The Yamas and Niyamas, Exploring Yoga’s Ethical Practice
Rachel Bonkirk (2020), Flex your mind, 10 powerful Yoga principles for less stress in a busy world.