The Yamas series - Aparigraha
The last of the Yamas is aparigraha, which is non-attachment or non-possessiveness.
It’s been a difficult start to the year for many of us yearning for a return to normality, desiring a change of scenery, needing to connect with people, desiring change. We’ve all been spending more time in our houses, and many of us have taken the time to scrutinise our possessions and our environment and not always favourably! Are we seeking a change because we’ve been in lockdown, or can we really look at what we own and say it needs to change? That is, are we seeking an unrealistic ideal of what we want and what it means to us, or is it that our possessions no longer serve us?
It can be a tricky one, how do we modulate our needs and desires, whilst being open to change. What we have and what we do so easily becomes shorthand for who we are. And from there you can easily slip into ‘this will be better if I have this thing which I want’
At the end of last September I went up to Wales for a job interview, staying at my parents’ house. My flat sale was nearly concluded and I had a really good feeling about the job but it looked like Wales was heading into another lockdown. I became so fixated on being there and having this job that when I went up, I filled a car with as many of my day to day things I needed around me, thinking if it came to it, I’d stay on. Well, if that had worked out, I wouldn’t be writing this now - I didn’t get the job, I returned to London without most of my things and my flat still hasn’t sold. Since then Wales and London have been in lockdown. I think we’d all prefer it if I was at my parents’ house and my things were stuck in London rather than I was in London with my things stuck at my parents’ house but that’s not the way it worked out.
Aparigraha is about being able to let go. To live generously, without expectation and find satisfaction and enjoyment within rather than seeking gratification from external things. It’s not easy to let go and let yourself be vulnerable in the moment, especially at the moment. It’s ok to want things and to cultivate transformation, yoga is about transformation after all - however, check your desires are from the heart, work to get them, trust in yourself and if it doesn’t happen, that’s ok… What have you learnt along the way? Have things changed in a way you didn’t expect? What are you grateful for?
More information
Deborah Adele (2009), The Yamas and Niyamas, Exploring Yoga’s Ethical Practice
Rachel Bonkirk (2020), Flex your mind, 10 powerful Yoga principles for less stress in a busy world.